I'm gonna be a journalist AND singer. XD
that's it. x) Ahahaha!
Write stories, sing.
Keep dreaming,girl!

Today, I woke up, feeling empty,and sad.
As if all the life is sucked out in me.
Wandered aimlessly around the house.

Then went down with the peeps to play bball.
More like,venting of frustration.
It rained, the teardrops of heaven pelting heavily onto us.
We did not waver, but continue shooting the balls into the baskets.
I was like,venting everything I had contained in me recklessly.
Trying to tire myself out,
Trying,to distract myself. From thinking horrible thoughts. Cos I knew that if I had sat at home, I would have started wilting from the pain.

Yeah, I made myself tired at last. Energy level goes DOWNNN.
Haha, and,the peeps really made my day today. They made me smile at their dumb jokes and actions, and its always easy to form a mask when I'm with them. I could smile, for just a little while. Oh yeah, not to mention the calories i've lost today, excersing,(I hope.)

I love my pri sch friends. And I dont ever wanna drift apart from them. I realise that I need them. These few days, I've been so alone, and I kept asking & going to play with them, reviving the smiles of the past, the roots of my youth. They obliged, the peeps, they weather through the rain and sun with me, and dont ever go. Sometimes,when in sec sch life, when I felt that everyone has left me; when I felt despondent, I always have them to go to, for them to comfort me, vent my frustration and laugh with me. And tears would stop. I would be distracted, even if it means running away from everything for a while.
Really realise how important y'guys are to me. thanks,for everything.

But contradictingly, I felt that some of us changed, some for the better, most, for the worst.
It just dosent feel the same anymore. I dont know what's the problem.
Pardon the uncouth way of putting it,but, do those in the abso-good-lutely schools FEEL SO high and mighty that they want to forget us, that they look down on us and detest being with us!?
Do they really feel that way? That, I wonder. And yearn to search for the answer. And yet, I dont want to be hurt if they really think that way.
What does this friendships mean to them? Our closest friends, have drifted far away. And I feel very sad for that. Very very sad, for in the past, things were so different.

I guess, things will never be the same again, really.
No matter what matter I'm refering to,
nothing will ever be the same again.
And that cruel fact stabs me hard in the bleeding heart that I'm having trouble nursing.

Not only pri sch peeps. Sec school too.
2/3, what has become of you? I really dont know.
Why have you guys changed so much, some of you!? That I hardly recongnise you anymore.
Why, are friendships breaking apart, and people turning into monsters, into judgemental people. why!? Teachers, instructors, have all commented that we're not united as one. 1/3 was!
What happened to 2/3? Why has everyone changed so much?
I tried, a few of us really tried, to pull the class together once again through so many things. But does it work!? Does any bloody person realise and appreciates what we're doing afterall!?
Its hard, it really is. I'm on point on giving up, but i wont, for I want to strengthen our bond, bring us as one again, before we're seperated once and for all. But for some, they only changed for the better. (: That's sweet to know. And good for everyone. (:

2/3 is like, a class full of super nice and great peeps who somehow goes wrong when they're mixed together. Haha.

Why cant things just be happy.

For all the many burning and hurting questions in my heart, some of which I even did not type out, I just wanna SCREAM ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. In furstration. sadness, disappointment, everything.

I'm trying to block out all negative thoughts. trying to stay strong. trying to mask.
Like I said, I dont care if my flame goes off sometimes. I dont care anymore.

it hurts to think that somehow, you seem to dont bother to care anymore.

ARGH. F__

Co-operation is on a high demand. Please,people.
SIGH.
No man is an island.

the pages of my life turns, and the petals of the rose that represent my life drops slowly. Everytime I'm hurt, a petal falls.
I wonder how long it takes to have only one empty stalk left.

Pain, is something, I guess, that I have to live with everyday.
I dont care anymore. It doesnt matter anymore.
And what is my problem!?
I'm so scared of losing everyone who means so much to me.
especially you. I'm so scared, of losing what I have. I'm so scared, of facing my failures.
I'm such an arse.

I'm thankful to all those who cared for me. im really very thankful. touched by the sincerity and effort t make me smile xD sec sch,or peps. thanks,guys. y'all ROCK my world.

thank you.

tmro's X-country. Gd'luck, everyone.
I dont think I can do well.
Haha.

the flame went off today.