not the same.

; finale.

Wednesday, December 31, 20085:52 PM

'Sup, people?
Tonight is the last night of 2008.

how has your year been, everyone? great? fraught with difficulties, challenges? Filled with happiness, experiences? are you ready to bid this year goodbye, and move on to a brand new year?

I ask myself these questions. and hmm. thought about this year. To me, this year has been extremely great. Full of great mem'ries that i'll always remember. and prob the most fun-filled year ever! To me, next year's gonna suck. so i'll certainly treasure this year loads. Okay, i think alot of people would have written loads on their blogs on how they feel about this year, but i suddenly could not think of anything at the moment. This year is filled with opportunities, eye-openers, experience and love. :D 08 rocked.

Well, that's about it for this year. there's too many things to pen down. it's heartenning, it's sad, to see the year fly so fast. sec 2's the only year with all the great things happening, the epicentre of our maturity! next year we're leading, we're old people HAHA.

And so, it's another brand new year to open your eyes to see, you heart to feel, your mind to think, your soul to experience. I believe next year's gonna be a very busy year, a year filled with responsibilities, and leadership hmm.

Well, people, HAPPY COUNT-DOWNING! 5,4,3,2,1!

OKAY, new year resolutions:

1)Exercise and get rid of fats.

2)Do well in council & choir, and PASS subjects.

3)Give in, understand more, be a better person.

4)be HYPER everyday! EMO-ing not allowed!

5)Be a better person to everybody!

6)SAVE up. do not spend all money that comes to hand :X [guilty as charged]

While people are having fun at Vivo or some other place having a great countdown, i'm stuck at home doing nothing. at HOME mann! Probably watching Chn 5 for all those in-house movies. GAH. BLESS ME. I've got no life. so much to a 'great' start to a new year.

But i'm kindaf lookin forward to orientation though! Pity it ends so early. Spoils the excitement.

p/s. I'm happy 'cos i'll get to press the horn @ cca openhouse! HONK HONK! :D

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? lol?

Monday, December 29, 20085:30 PM

LOL why everyone call the last post emo?!

it's hardly anywhere near there! o.o

Today's dry run for orientation!

AND i SCREWED UP BIG TIME.

In front of all the OBS people, my council mates & seniors, and the sec1 potentials.

AHHHHHH.

Okay. the school song officially is the worst song ever.

'cos i think it's gonna give me nightmares.

mamamia.

thank god junjie helped me.

OKAY. he's damn pro.

and all i wanna do is to drill a big hole down the stage and burry myself forever.

it's that kindaf feeling man! When you stand up on stage, and you look down to a sea of faces, and you pick up the mic, and you just CAN'T SING.

Omfg i was SO not prepared. I swear im gonna 'chiong' on orientation.

well i'll do my best.

Rafiq said that on that day, it'll be worse. 'cos you have to HIGH to a bunch of sec 1s who are super quiet and anti.

Imagine: councillor highing on stage. Below--a deep wierd silence.

Gosh i dont know why im feeling so tired so easily! Crap how to be alert, awake, alive, enthusiastic! :X

Oh well I actually am looking forward to the actual day! Kindaf excited 'cos i think it'll be fun! PLUS we get to skip lessons! YAY.

But. that also marks a whole new school year.

Screw it. in out up down.

09 is gonna come in 2 days.

Shit.

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;sharp,pain.

Sunday, December 28, 20085:48 PM

words like thunder jolt me awake.
im being stupid.
how can i be thinkin about the far future?
but then again, it's what comforts me.
then then again, im being stupid again.
that's what i always am.
Stupid questions. why did i have to ask them.
Just 'cos of the stupid curiosity burning in me.
so 'tis true that curiosity kills the cat.
i feel like punchin somethin now i havent quite decide what.
this post is full of rambling that i just have to get off my chest.
bloggin keeps me in control. ahh i dont know wth im talking about.
im not done tryin and yet i know that im a failure wth am i talking about im just a screwed
person with nothing good in her. failure. never be able to succeed. then again hey! why am i putting myself down i'm not that bad am i what the hell i am set out to achieve my dreams and do what i want and i will but i dont know im losing confidence in myself ahh sec 3 is coming and im super lousy i'll not be able to cope ahh so little gals in my class and with the so busy scheldue im feeling super insecure and in need. ahh wth everyone else is going through the same stuff as me maybe im just taking it too hard ahh LOL wth am i talking once again my mind is screwed up. and sch's reopenin n i hate it and i just wish that u'd treat me sweetly again.

bang. im filled with bullets.
cry to death.
lol. screammmmmmm.

in control.

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;all's almost over..):

Friday, December 26, 200812:21 PM

HAPPY BOXING DAY.

LOLS. well, it's boxing day for us in s'pore, but boxing day in america only t'mro due to the time diffrence but ahh whatever.

So..Christmas wasn't great at all 'cos it seriously didnt feel like it.

Like, where's the x'mas spirit mann!

Okay, so x'mas is over, which means, the year is gonna be over, which means, everything is gonna be over very soon.

08 is gonna be over.

ahh. 08 rocked. it's seriously been a great year, with many things i'll never forget.

09's gonna suck big time. AHHH.

All i've left is the mem'ries. and you. to pull me through.

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; merry x'mas EVE.

Wednesday, December 24, 200810:49 PM

OKAY i KNOW i havent been blogging for alot of days.
and blogger is giving me problems so i'm unable to post pictures ):

Okay, so i went through the Sec 1 registration.
I was working with MR VILAU.
And it kindaf gave me alot of laughs.
'cos our class queue went the slowest. 'cos for every parent he would talk alot about himself, and CCA and sports, and if the student is a fat one then..haha you'd know the rest.
It was damn funny.
alright i'm lazy to go into details.

"ayioh, why this year we have so many overweight students?"
"ayioh, you're so slim and have a pretty face, you should join chinese dance, not netball!"
etc etc. you get what i mean.

Hmm, and i also went through lotsa briefings for sec 1 orientation, which is coming very very soon. tis all kindaf cool, cos i myself didnt go through orientation. hmmm.

well, and ytd i went out with Sy for a movie in the morning, and after that with mum. for her bday cum x'mas celebration. walked around.
it's fun to go out with her aye. 'cos she's so bubbly about everything. AHH. and next year we'll be torn even further apart! ><

feels great to be with sy again. 'cos i dont know when will be the next time we can spend time tgthr.

And today, X'mas eve, i cant believe i spent the entire day doing nothing.
Until 4 plus, when i meet the peps peeps for dinner! [ok, super last min, but..oh wellxD]
There's jan, QJ, me, xiaomei, yh, ly and zc.
Zc had to leave earlier cos he's stuck at what city harvest thingy.
Anyway, played soccer for awhile. it was RAININ. stupid weather. i hate the rain.
It was damn crappy. screwed the rules, screwed the skills. HAHA.
Then it was dinner at macs. we crapped and talked bout alot of supernatural stuff.
Scaryyyy.
if you guys out there dare, log in to www.hotel626.com
only log in if you dare. it operates from 10pm to 5am only. mwha.

So that's about it for now folks.
countdown to CHRISTMAS on-going!

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;hair trouble.

Sunday, December 21, 20083:40 PM

what would you do if I became damn ugly?

'cos i am.

my mum dragged me to the f-in lousy hair saloon.

now my hair is screwed.

i'm gonna stay ugly of the who.e of next year until my hair grows back again.

fuck.

i feel damn restless and damn lousy.

i've seriously got enough of my mother and her nonsense.

my hair is SHORT NOW. S-H-O-R-T.

As in, so short that i don't even need to tie my hair.

i miss my long hair.

damn much.

all i can do is look at the past pictures with watery eyes.

And think what will happen when people in school see me.

once again, fuck.

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;nightmare.

Thursday, December 18, 20082:44 PM

Never-ending feeling of fear and solitude.
Reaching out so hard to grab it, to reach it.
heart pounding hard, adrenaline everywhere.
Pain pierced everywhere, tears enveloping my eyes.
the unbearable feeling of loss, and the desperate want.
Heart spiralling down into perpetual darkness.
screams echoed, left alone.

I woke up.

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;courage.

Wednesday, December 17, 20084:16 PM

Went to MEDIACORP yesterday to support jeremy for the campus superstar official opening.
it was kindaf cool to see what it really is like.

lights, camera, action!

I realise it takes alot more than just normal courage to dare to join the competition.
You gotta face whatever its like out there.
And not everyone or anyone is daring enough to step out there to try to shine.
You've just gotta WANT it enough to try.
I guess that's the case for jeremy.

Good luck to him in everything!
It really aint gonna be easy coping with the upcoming stress, plus neverendin rehersals and practices.
He'll be a really strong person after that.

Anyway, went there, screamed hoarse, waved banners.
Y'actually get to see all the behind the scenes action and how the media works. Quite cool. it's my first time, so..yeah!
So much effort&time spent!
Went there till late.
hmm.
it'll be screened on TV on 4th Jan. 9pm. Channel U.

*******
Today was preparation and briefing for sec 1 registration. Hope we have many new lovlies comin into css this year!

We were packing papers into files for sec 1s like a whole production company and 'tis really cool. xD Then it started gettin a little jammed up and Vishnu and Junyang was quarrellin bout it.
LOL and the big fact: Both Vishnu and Azlin have hearing problems.
Azlin heard 'pole dancing' when I said 'dancing'.
Azlin heard 'britney spears' when I said 'when is it'.
OKAY i cant remember the rest 'cos those 2 were sending me into spasms of laughter that I cant even stack the papers up properly.

It was damn funny.

After that, Divesh, Sughan, Azlin and I went to eat at westmall.

Me: So what y'guys wanna eat?

Divesh: Let me narrow down the choices for you.
Pastamania, out. 'cos i saw a cockroach in the soup when i went there the other time.
Mos burger, out. too expensive and too little.
Macdonalds, out. too ex for the extra value meal.
KFC, out. 'cos they handle the chicken in a disgusting way. they soak all the chicken in oil after plucking out the feathers to keep the seasonings there and then put it in the freezer.

Azlin(or was it me?): HUH then what we eat sia!? you're cancelin so many choices!

Sughan: NO he's canceling ALL your choices. -.-

LOL. OKAY. we're a bunch of crap people with no lives.
Sughan's aim in life is such a cool thing--PARKOUR.

Parkour--a sport in which people scale buildings and jump from block to block.

It's damn cool. I wonder how he does it.
1) arm power must be damn strong.
[i dont even have that ):]

Azlin and Divesh thinks I am crazy when i said it's cool.
o.0

Oh well.

im beginning to need you more and more. and its gettin to hurt more and more everytime you strike me.

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;alamak! xD

Saturday, December 13, 200810:41 PM

ROFL i was watching our 1/3 CDP video and laughing like mad.
it's wierd and amazing at the same time how everyone can change so much in just one year.
Last time all the guys' voices are squeaky and high, and now it's all deep and whatever.
Last time everyone was just daring to let out whatever acting skills they have without feelin embarrassed. But now, nah I dont think so!

Bryan was SUPER funny, and I dont think the humour can ever come back again xD
What's left to keep's this video HAHA.

Oh man. X'mas is nearing. Which means that sch's reopening soon.
da-da-dumm.
Oh crap. ><

o.o I WANT OUT.
i need $. lols.

headache's still a lil there, and the sore throat's definitely there. what's wrong with me?!

hopefully i can do some fun stuff asap. before i go mad.

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;choir batam

Thursday, December 11, 20084:05 PM

the trip kindaf sucked.

as in, it's all practice.

no fun. except a little on the last night.

practice, eat, practice.

"what do you remember about the trip?"

"workshops"

Lol but the clinicians were rather hilarious.

But it's a pity that our choir can't remember the things they taught us quickly enough.

ahh. and our standard dropped...alot.

): It's disappointing, especially to SLs.

i think they will have a heart-attack soon.

Last time, it was "Sops, you can soften down"

Now it's "Sops, come out sommore"

What happened to us?

Looking at TK sing.

it's "woah." and "wah"

stupid tk.haha.

will we be good enough?

On the 2nd morning when i woke up i found myself with a throbbing headache.

And till now, my head still hurts.

I dont know if there's something wrong with me.
And now my throat seriously hurts.

i think i need a doctor.

Oh god. 2 more weeks to school reopening. screw me.

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;flyfly ticktick time passes.

Saturday, December 06, 200812:44 PM

In the blink of an eye, it's DEC already.
time passes so damn quickly.
it's coming to the end, and there's SO MUCH that i havent done, that i need to do! ><
rushhour.

One more month to toture.
I'm scared of going to sec 3.
sec 2's the best.

Christmas is coming!
I didnt even realise it till all the advertisments on tv started talking about christmas presents and all.
christmas = presents = parties = fun.

lol. I don't feel the atmosphere at all. Issit 'cos of the economy downturn?
Christmas party, anyone?! =)

havfta start getting gifts and all that.. = $ ahh.

going to batam for choir jubilateIII from tmro to weds.
gonna miss my youngest sis's bday [9th dec]. ahhh.
I dont know why, but i dont seem to be looking forward to batam.
singing deproved like crapshitexzzz.
time to buck up.

you held me in your arms tight against your chest and promised that you'd be my pillar.
my strength, no matter what happens. you'll be there for me, protecting me, staying with me.you told me that you'd hold all my troubles for me. you promised that you'd never leave, that you'd never let me fall. you wiped away my tears and told me never to cry, and if i have to, it'd only be in your arms, no place else.

i wouldnt know how to thank you, for everything you've done for me. ily.
i treasure you, and wouldnt let you go no matter what.

we'll brave through everything together, i promise.

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;take it eeesaye.

Thursday, December 04, 20082:17 PM

3 hrs to start fire! xD actually it could have been 4 more hrs, cos a black cat crossed our path. hence, it should have taken 7hrs LOL.

WE COOK.

Nicole's damn proud of her cooking. [she cooked most of the chicken wings!] :D

MAKAN.

Well, there were damn alot of cats there. there were cute kittens! Any leftovers were thrown to them.

Notice the yellow eyes? scary.

Milk tea + chips = yum.

made a mess outside cos we sat there, bbqed and ate under the stars.

Nicole and I did ALOT of washing up!

Drink of the day.

Qiuying and Hannah slackin xD

Class chalet was kindaf crappy. We hardly did anything. it's like a holiday chalet. like as in, talk, eat, slack, play cards.

BBQed at night. Some went to play bball, some stayed to cook. We also watched TV dramas together at night. lols. And yeah like they said, its the 31st Nov haha.

And at night, we girls took chairs to sit in the bathroom and crap while each other are bathing. HAHA.

*****************************************************

Crazy things at council chalet:

1) Aravin did all of the BBQ and didnt eat a single thing.

2) We cycled 67 km IN THE NIGHT. from 12 plus to 5 plus. [divesh's bright idea]

3) i almost lost my phone. and one of the bikes were spoilt and there was alot of trouble.

4) we crapped alot.

5) we ate alot.

6) we cooked alot.

7) Mr koh came to help us bbq. xD and he ended up eating very little and cookin alot. ><

8) we all crapped together at night in the bigger room and ended up sleepin.

9) we saw the fun side of all our seniors, including wenqi

10) james and a few others played 97 rounds of cards in the night and broke the record.

*********************

time passes damn quickly .

I have to grow to become a stronger person.

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