not the same.

;what do i do, someone, tell me?

Friday, January 30, 200910:25 PM

oh man my life's screwed.

with nothing to hold on to.

with nothing in my name.

gawd. this sucks.

maybe i should just start writing emo and short posts like lao de.

they're kindaf beautiful.

oh whatever.

Monday--D-day.
Tuesday--D-D-day.

im damn afraid.

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;all-singapore-rejects. o.0

Thursday, January 29, 200910:32 PM

Display Name says:
WHO SET VIVIAN FREE

Display Name says:
WOOF WOOF WOOOF.

Samurai Girl }Vivian how it'd set me free. says:
WTF

Samurai Girl }Vivian how it'd set me free. says:
-.-

Display Name says:
so vulgar

Display Name says:
tsk tsk.

Samurai Girl }Vivian daydream. says:
chee!

Display Name says:
CHEEKEN

Samurai Girl }Vivian daydream. says:
NUGGET.

Display Name says:
erm

Display Name says:
POPCORN CHICKEN

Display Name says:
lol

Samurai Girl }Vivian Take a breath, i'll pull myself together, just another step. says:
TWO PIECE CHICKEN

Display Name says:
erm

Display Name says:
FAMILY FEAST.

Samurai Girl }Vivian Take a breath, i'll pull myself together, just another step. says:
BUDDY MEAL.

Display Name says:
STUDENT MEAL

Samurai Girl }Vivian Take a breath, i'll pull myself together, just another step. says:
STUDENT MEAL UPSIZE.

Display Name says:
SAMURAI MEAL DOWNSIZE

Display Name says:
...

Samurai Girl }Vivian Take a breath, i'll pull myself together, just another step. says:
LOL

Samurai Girl }Vivian Take a breath, i'll pull myself together, just another step. says:
KANGAROO TWO PIECE MEAL

Display Name says:
,,,,

Display Name says:
erm

Display Name says:
U WAN UPSIZE?

Display Name says:
FRM JOEY TO KANGAROO?

Display Name says:
lol

Samurai Girl }Vivian Take a breath, i'll pull myself together, just another step. says:
YA

Samurai Girl }Vivian Take a breath, i'll pull myself together, just another step. says:
CANNOT AR

Above: Conversation with 3/3's joey. kay that's retarted.

____________________________

On a heavier note, im seriously falling behind.
Im first-time failing my best subjects.
[it's a super big blow to me]
and im not understanding any lessons at all.

great. it's only the 3rd week of school? (or issit 4th. kay whatever)

Sincere thanks, to those who have given me encouragement for me to stand up. i really appreciate it alot.

I used to be okay, now im crapshit.
What is this? Where am i going?

Oh damn.

i think, but couldnt believe,that you looked down on me too. i think alot of people do. how do i stand strong, and prove them wrong.

i'm not a perfect person. in fact, im damn short of perfectiveness.

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; Staring into space.

Monday, January 26, 20098:57 PM

' I was just another promise you couldnt keep.'

For hours i could sit there, think and dream, about the time we'll have together when we gain our freedom. when the world is ours to see.

Alright back from M'sia. What I did there was simply watch Disney Channel! And it's really nice! thank god i don't have cable. Or I neednt study anymore. I literally just sat there for the entire day watching TV!

TV guru. tsk. And oh there were also fireworks. we got to fire them ourselves.

My sis was telling me about the time she had her art lesson. The teacher took them to the school's garden and told them to draw a tree. So she spotted one and started drawing earnestly. Satisfied,she presented the picture proudly to her teacher. Guess what, he just said 'No, that's a shrub, not a tree.' Alright imagine how her bubble bursts!

That was random. It's just a lesson to say that: Imagination and anticipation might carry you away, but bear in mind that most of the time, the bubble bursts.

Kay. Im really behind homework, behind lessons, behind time. It's only the 3rd week of school and i'm lagging really badly. I dont know what's wrong with me. I just can't seem to buck up.

I'm scared.

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;HAPPY cny??

Friday, January 23, 200910:28 PM

GONNA BE IN MALAYSIA FROM TMRO EARLY MORNING till

MONDAY [quite late] NIGHT.

So, hmm, if you sms/call me, and don't recieve any reply, don't panick. will reply you if it's darn urgent.

It's darn shitty. Only knew it like, recently. i was like WTF when my mum told me.

Gonna acutally miss the CNY holidays in S'pore! Gonna actually not be able to spend the time with friends!

All you lucky peeps in S'pore. You'd better count your blessings. ><

Gonna go to my grandma's modernized-kampong, which is damn boring 'cos all you do is watch cartoon network for the whole day. Well, there's no arguing/bargaining about not going back, 'cos i havent been there for 3 years. xD For the past 3 years, only my sisters have been going. I bet alot of people have already forgotten me altogether. HAH.

Kay, this cny's gonna suck.

And oh! today's emceeing was VERY IMPROMTU, and very disastrous. Just the beginning of the preformance and already so many bad things happened.

1) Principal's mic spoilt twice, and it's damn irritating for all.

2) Chinese dancer fell! ><

3) Problem with prize giving.

4) Nobody wanted to volunteer themselves for the impromtu Quiz questions, and so I had to go down-stage to INVITE them to answer the questions, and they STILL insisted on not giving the ans. I had to end up fierce to get the ans. DAMN.

Okay I can't remember. Anyway, it's very crappy, and i bet the only thing the audience enjoyed was the humilation of everyone on-stage. But i think i did OK for such an impromtu thing.

Scary. And oh, james is not bad for an emcee! LOL.

Anyway, on a lighter note, im looking forward to Valentine's?? 'cos we can have fun in council and with friends.

Okay, that's a long time away anyway.

Alright, i wish y'all out there a happy chinese NIU year!

Get lotsa $ and fun aye?

Seeya when im back. love y'all. keep the tags going.

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;broken road.

Saturday, January 17, 200911:08 PM

I never knew life was so hard to cope with. as in, for now, when stuff are crap.

Being alive.

Well, this post is rather random, I could say.

I was thinkin of our homework. Like, we're only allowed to write good stuff about our country. and good stuff that's 'correct'. Not our opinions when the instructions say 'give your opinion'.

lol I was wondering: Is this propaganda?

YAY had 2 mini 3/3 outings alrd. happy. Sorry but my computer's failing on me. So it's hard for me to post pictures. ><

Choir farewell was today. Quite fun. As in, it's great to see the seniors again. Gonna miss them real bad when they're gone. they're matured, and have gone on to the next stage of their lives. And we're still stuck here. kindaf pathetic, really. But yet, we somesort love our sec sch life, do we? anw, we really hope that we'll make them proud. by getting G or G w H. hoya!:D

Ahh. which brings me back to the fact that audition is soon. As in, I wanna get it over and done with but..you can't blame me for being worried!

Okay. I've got to change. I'm saying 'AS IN' ALOT.

And, I kindaf miss 2/3. wierd. but at the same time im beginning to really warm up to 3/3. especially those that went the other day. :D

Oh well. random post.

so much has happened recently. it's a bad time for everyone.

conflicts.politics.secrets.crushes.pain.unfairness.hurt.stress.sacrifice.fight.

Don't worry people. Everything will be okay. there'll be a way out.

take care. bless all of us.

this heart, it beats, beats for only you.

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;never knew.

Friday, January 16, 200911:15 PM

I never knew that some people could be this cruel.
I never knew that some people could be this hurt.
I never knew that some people could crumble just because of one thing.
I never knew that some people could be this noble.
I never knew that some people could be this loving.
I never knew that some people could be this strong.

wow. there are alot of things which i didnt know before.
That im amazed at.

sometimes, hardships have to be made invisible to others.
you suffer them alone. you become stronger.

sometimes, sacrifices are made willingly for the ones they love at the cost of their happiness.

sometimes, people don't always get what they want but they let it go and keep trying, keep GIVING. never stopping.

that's what i call pure hearts.
these people are amazin.

"worry only waste brain space and wont help" quite true. but i cant seem to stop. mwha.

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;drop down.

Wednesday, January 14, 200911:22 PM

"Do well, then got chance of surviving life. Dont do so well then you're a failure. Dont do well at all? Then you're doomed and your days are simply numbered."

"Tough words for a tough reality.
so harsh."

Saddistic. It's making me wanna puke, going through the same routines again and again everyday.
waking up so early every morning. half-dead. still dragging myself to school and be-high.
sleeping late and having exhausted sleeps every single night. it's like you touch the pillow, drop dead to the world till morning.

08 never used to be like that.
(get used to it, vivian)

What are we working towards mann? What is there to look forward to?

"time is long for now."

All i want, is to be enveloped in your arms again. Tell me that everything's gonna be okay.

back to the top

;complexity

Tuesday, January 13, 20099:53 PM

syf auditions are coming.
First Sat of feb.

Worried.

Inferior Interior.

back to the top

;hard to see.

Sunday, January 11, 20099:42 PM

Firstly, i think there's a problem with my eyes.
I'm worried that it'll end up like qiuying's eye ulcer ><
I cant take the pain like her.

Secondly, i've been feeling low.
Ahh. don't get it wrong people, it's not any emocrap.

Feel,

Alone.
Useless.

back to the top

;live.

Wednesday, January 07, 200910:59 PM

i want my life back.

lol. it's only the 3rd day of school? And im feeling qwertgtyvac already.

Gosh. im so weak.
getting sick so easily. getting mood swings so easily.
xD

Lessons have been alright. Though often, i still dont catch any balls.
But the class is so quiet! i dont like it ><

perfect imperfections. Haha.

I'll update more when i remember when i recap the whole of this week.

seeya, for now.

FUN FACT: the highest record in the world for eating worms is 20 in 2 mins. RANDOM.

Haha watch this space for more updates.

back to the top

; first day.

Friday, January 02, 20098:27 PM

OKAY. happy new year.

so today's the first day of school.

Back to 'good'ol commonwealth'.

new faces. [not only of students, but teachers too!]

Scary to see the guys in long pants now. wierd, but nice.

But I love the feeling and the atmosphere and the air of the first day of school, cos everyone looks diff, IS diff, and there's just this NEW feeling in the air, cos all of us havent seen each other for a long time. smile at everyone you see, and get smiles and lil chats back, which's nice.

Anyway,

;teachers we got were sucky.

;Our classroom is on the 4th floor. Beside 3/2 and 3/7 and 3/8. GAH. what is this mann.

;we've got lessons till 3pm every single day.

;commontests every monday morning. and the stuff tested would most probably be leaked to the other classes, which lets them score better.

;homework's LOADS.

& i havent even done my chi HOL HWK.

Screw it. i hate this part right here.

OKAY. so today's sec 1 orientation.

And i have to say, the kids these days are getting bratty.

You ask them "do you understand?" when you explain a game to them.

They say "of course, we're not as stupid as you.

"When you are there trying to make them high,

they call you stupid and 'siao'.

what's with the kids nowdays!?

Remember our batch and the previous batches? We RESPECTED and LOOKED UP to the seniors mann!!

Anyway, we high-ed pretty much today.

Kindaf cool. Took the school song with Junjie. which turned out to be not quite a disaster, but still not that good.

well, we're taking it on mon again!

Like we've said, just 'PIA' through.

Mon's the FUN part. with the amazing race & station games and all.

Hope the sec 1s will high more. and well, HAVE FUN. that's the whole point of us working so hard for this thing, aye?

p/s. when yaoxiang and i were waiting outside OG8's classroom to take them down for recess, we stood outside the classroom. and we could hear MR FAIZAL speaking, damn loudly.

he was like "So, do you all know what's the meaning of CM?"

"it's CHARMING MAN!"

"So, im the charming man of the class, and i will be in charge of you all for year."

LOL we were LAUGHING outside mann.

These funny stuff continued for like quite long, and mr faizal took his class 15mins of their recess 'cos of this.

aww, we've got to go back to lessons from tues onwards.

Bleh.

YAY tmro's CCA open house!

sad that i'll miss some duties cos of performance.

but im lookin 4ward to pressin the HORN! :D

Heard that choir's gonna put up a cute performance.

with us dancin, and bryson swinging out in the end....

oh well.

that's all for now, folks. ta-ta!

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